I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
