Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Two words: nipple clamps
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