one might say we're banned from that church
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
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It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
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I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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