im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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