Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I smell stomach acid.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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