Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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