I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
