There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Mom said you looked used
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
