i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
