ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
