my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
