the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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