ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I love having hate sex.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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