there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
