He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
