She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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