so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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