I don't think brook has ever known best
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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