I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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