Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
