Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
