Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
