Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Drake has all the answers
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
