There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
