He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
