Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
