I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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