If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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