On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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