It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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