People in love make me want to vomit
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
