people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
