just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
