Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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