Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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