people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
