unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
