Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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