Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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