Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize