i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Its about making memories worth repressing
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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