She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
