Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
