Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
