Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
