I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize