i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
