xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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