We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
