It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
