i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
