You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize