I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
