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this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
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