Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute

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  (214): I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute http://tfl.nu/955u
  Replies (12) Good night (1101) Bad night (1626)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  and it's going to stay that way

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  (203): I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other (413): and it's going to stay that way http://tfl.nu/bh5o
  Replies (11) Good night (903) Bad night (3018)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....

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  (973): There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though.... http://tfl.nu/r2dr
  Replies (25) Good night (2892) Bad night (1806)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.

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  (301): I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa. http://tfl.nu/sbm1
  Replies (91) Good night (31568) Bad night (1386)
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  (845): View more from New York

  i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room

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  (845): i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room http://tfl.nu/beeq
  Replies (13) Good night (1052) Bad night (3579)
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  (858): View more from California

  the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.

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  (858): the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus. http://tfl.nu/isnl
  Replies (5) Good night (3555) Bad night (1170)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants

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  (518): I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants http://tfl.nu/tuxk
  Replies (8) Good night (693) Bad night (1347)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?

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  (780): Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job? http://tfl.nu/b4va
  Replies (7) Good night (759) Bad night (1536)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..

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  (215): i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be.. http://tfl.nu/8j64
  Replies (2) Good night (827) Bad night (1325)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.

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  (616): Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/i5nq
  Replies (9) Good night (1514) Bad night (804)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.

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  (302): This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy. http://tfl.nu/3zpx
  Replies (2) Good night (950) Bad night (415)
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  (949): View more from California

  I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library

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  (949): I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library http://tfl.nu/jhv7
  Replies (3) Good night (739) Bad night (373)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.

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  (201): You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant. http://tfl.nu/ug62
  Replies (3) Good night (331) Bad night (484)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20

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  (203): I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20 http://tfl.nu/grr6
  Replies (0) Good night (478) Bad night (304)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon

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  (901): So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon http://tfl.nu/ipuq
  Replies (2) Good night (157) Bad night (277)

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