I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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