Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.

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(914): No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/14mn

Replies (15) Good night (946) Bad night (6550)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI

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(215): He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI http://tfl.nu/4msy

Replies (30) Good night (1823) Bad night (4395)
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(913): View more from Kansas

the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job

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(913): the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job http://tfl.nu/faar

Replies (24) Good night (6706) Bad night (610)
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(619): View more from California

Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

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(619): Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. http://tfl.nu/4wgk

Replies (45) Good night (28909) Bad night (2285)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa

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(601): You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa http://tfl.nu/lg9x

Replies (33) Good night (7693) Bad night (1093)
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(678): View more from Georgia

i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend

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(678): i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend http://tfl.nu/xiia

Replies (7) Good night (3725) Bad night (1149)
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(438): View more from Quebec

I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.

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(438): I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning. http://tfl.nu/ev9g

Replies (15) Good night (3230) Bad night (1062)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME

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(603): I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME http://tfl.nu/slem

Replies (5) Good night (4267) Bad night (937)
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(816): View more from Missouri

apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom

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(816): apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom http://tfl.nu/n80z

Replies (3) Good night (1113) Bad night (1662)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.

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(270): truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around. http://tfl.nu/6rm8

Replies (7) Good night (1722) Bad night (754)
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(619): View more from California

Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight

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(619): Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight http://tfl.nu/2z23

Replies (14) Good night (1855) Bad night (575)
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(716): View more from New York

I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.

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(716): I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king. http://tfl.nu/29xr

Replies (7) Good night (1379) Bad night (566)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.

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(613): Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived. http://tfl.nu/meie

Replies (5) Good night (1517) Bad night (380)
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(949): View more from California

It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.

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(949): It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants. http://tfl.nu/9y1w

Replies (5) Good night (384) Bad night (745)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am

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(847): Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am http://tfl.nu/mhm6

Replies (0) Good night (396) Bad night (196)

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