Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?

(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars

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(973): this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg (1-973): gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something? (973): yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars http://tfl.nu/7tyz

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(630): View more from Illinois

if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems

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(630): if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems http://tfl.nu/3idz

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(905): View more from Toronto

Cure to hiccups..road head..high five

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(905): Cure to hiccups..road head..high five http://tfl.nu/bsv1

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(509): View more from Washington

im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid

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(509): im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid http://tfl.nu/xma9

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(314): View more from Missouri

In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major

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(314): In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major http://tfl.nu/y5g5

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.

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(501): I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus. http://tfl.nu/lpxj

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(480): View more from Arizona

it's like russian roulette but with a penis

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(480): it's like russian roulette but with a penis http://tfl.nu/nnes

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?

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(603): should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format? http://tfl.nu/bwcb

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.

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(859): Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me. http://tfl.nu/05qc

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us

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(919): I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us http://tfl.nu/0tdj

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat

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(717): Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat http://tfl.nu/dsa2

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(307): View more from Wyoming

i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.

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(307): i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears. http://tfl.nu/ndjg

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(678): View more from Georgia

Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.

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(678): Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times. http://tfl.nu/yq2x

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(913): View more from Kansas

I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.

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(913): I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath. http://tfl.nu/ml02

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(204): View more from Manitoba

NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.

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(204): NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees. http://tfl.nu/cysh

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