we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize