I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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