420 ftw
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
