Well apparently he's into motor boating.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
