I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
don't judge my taste in strippers
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
