And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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