Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
