guys are not supposed to queef...right?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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